No, women are not machines where you put time in and affection falls out. And yes, women who have own lives do value ability to keep those lives after having partner. And yes, being clingy or needy (not saying you was but in general) is offputting.

All of these go vice versa too - not many men want women to be constantly by their hip. Too much attention from a woman is offputting to men too.

And still, if you work 60 hours a week and spend weekends coding/working/writing, you will break up, divorce or never find the partner in the first place. Because no woman will miraculously suddenly appear in your bed room. Which is what I was talking about.