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points by jongjong 1 day ago | 0 comments
When my wife was diagnosed with stage 3 bowel cancer earlier this year, she was essentially prepared to die. She didn't even cry once. Her father had died from the same cancer at around the same age as her (early 40s), in the most horrific way imaginable. Her father used to work for the Soviet military in charge of a team of people who worked on propaganda so he was a strong believer in communism and he was devastated by the collapse of the USSR; his entire world had fallen apart. But then bowel cancer finished him off. My wife was in her teens at the time and she said he was extremely angry and not himself for years until he died. The chemo made him extremely sick, destroyed his body, and he had to have a colostomy bag. Years later, after my wife met me, we experienced a lot of hardship together; just one episode of bad luck after another... Like, almost every aspect of our lives which we didn't control. So by the time she got her cancer diagnosis, it's as though she was expecting it.

It turns out that she has a relatively rare genetic condition which increases the probability of bowel cancer by about 10x... These cancers are known to respond very poorly to standard chemo (and likely explains her father's horrible death decades earlier). This is where our luck finally turned though. We got lucky, possibly for the first time since we've been together. Her cancer turned out to be a kind which is highly responsive to immunotherapy. The most recent trial for the relevant class of drugs showed an unprecedented 100% complete response in about 40 patients (Dostarlimab). Moreover, that same class of (very expensive) drugs became available for her exact case, on the subsidized public list in my country, just one month prior to her diagnosis. After her first month of treatment, the tumor had shrunk by like 50% in diameter. Now, 5 months later, there is no evidence of cancer on the MRI.

I feel like the experience has completely changed my wife's perspective of life in a fundamental way. Before this, she lived her entire life expecting that things never get better and all news is bad news. Systems decay, collapse and people die.

These days I often think about the ancient Chinese tale "The old man lost his horse." It's insane how little control we actually have over the most important aspects of our lives and how something terrible (like a tumor which doesn't respond to chemo) can become a positive (but responds extremely well to immunotherapy). Also, it's quite inspiring to think about how people identified this horrible class of the most untreatable cancers in existence and decided to do something about it, and now it seems like they've become the most treatable of all cancers, with the fewest side effects too. It's a testament to the good things innovation can create when people focus on the worst problems, the worst injustices of human existence.

[–] diskzero 1 day ago
It is good to hear about her changed perspective and that the cancer is currently undetectable. I hope she continues to have health and you both have a good long life together. I lost my wife to cancer over nine months. We had thirty years together, but I certainly wanted more. Best to you both.
[–] NetOpWibby 23 hours ago
My condolences to you.

I just celebrated my 9th wedding anniversary but my wife and I have been together for 15 years. She lost her mom to cancer a couple years ago so that’s been in the back of my mind, randomly freaking me out.

Just focusing on enjoying a day at a time.

[–] mwigdahl 16 hours ago
I'm so sorry for her suffering and your loss. I've been married about as long and my wife is currently carrying Stage 4 cancer that seems to be stabilized with the treatment she's on. But it's always going to be there and it certainly changes our attitude to time and life.
[–] diskzero 13 hours ago
Thanks and I am very happy for you guys! I hope you both get a lot more time together and that she remains stable, healthy and active.
[–] jacquesm 1 day ago
What a story, wow. I kept hoping to read it ended well. I lost my sister to the same at an even younger age (23) so this was a pretty hard read.
[–] jongjong 1 day ago
Sorry to hear. That is a very young age to get that type of cancer. Must have been incredibly difficult and traumatic.
[–] jacquesm 23 hours ago
It's been 40 years and I'm not sure if I have completely processed it. I can still hear her voice. Best of luck to you and your wife, I hope you have many good and pleasant years together.
[–] WalterBright 1 day ago
Your story is wonderful. It is similar to the story of cystic fibrosis, where about 95% of CF cases can now get their symptoms erased.
[–] duggan 21 hours ago
I had no idea the situation for CF had improved so much! In Ireland it’s more common than anywhere else in the world; there were always stories of kids and people in their twenties passing due to it.
[–] Shorel 9 hours ago
Thank you so much for sharing your story.

It also gives us a change in perspective about things in life. Not only about luck, but also about science and the wonders of the modern world.

[–] Shorel 9 hours ago
Thank you so much for sharing your story.

It also gives us a change in perspective about things in life. Not only about luck, but also about science and the wonders of the modern world.

[–] yuuu 1 day ago
Was so happy to read this, thank you for posting.
[–] Transformanshen 21 hours ago
What a story, it touched me to the depths of my soul I read it with great hope for a positive outcome Thanks for sharing
[–] MarceliusK 1 day ago
I can't imagine what it was like for her to face the same diagnosis that took her father, only to have such a different outcome. The part about the drug becoming available a month before her diagnosis gave me chills...
[–] mwigdahl 16 hours ago
So happy for you and your wife. Enjoy every day together!