The book specificially says not to be un-authentic, that flattery is like printing fake currency and sooner or later you are gonna get into trouble of it. It genuinely asks people to do the hard thing of giving sincere appreciation not flattery and genuinely warns against being un-authentic and sycophantic as you mention.

> It's a book that is popular for all the wrong reasons and the title alone is a turn-off.

It depends. I understand what you mean in terms of the terms like winning friends and influencing people but the title sounds more as a plead to do something for me.

To me, the book is an action book (it specifically says so), and the title is a reminder to it being a guide and that we have to implement it. It's almost like a guide (how to) to making (win/winning) friends and having good connections (influencing people).

To me, its exactly a book which you can recommend someone to get out of rust when we worry about relationships and friendships etc., thus recommending it to OP because he wants to get out of it as well. It's a book which can help in producing actions. In the start they maybe less genuine because we are none the wiser but perhaps I do think that it helps over a long term.

The book is the best selling self help book of all time[0] (if you don't consider an novella/self-help category book)

It's not as if the popularity of the book means anything but rather how much the title contributes to such a book. Suppose 1 million people read the book more because of it. I think that the book is good in its content and genuinely net positive so the cost analysis of this title is that it is catchy and it allows more people to be happier maybe.

In the end, it comes down to the content of the book itself IMO rather than the things surrounding it (the title or the group of people that you have met who have read the book, that is a very small n factor to have a judgement about and I would please suggest to reconsider that judgement.)

I sincerely recommend reading the book.

Hey, as an challenge for both of us if you wish, we both can read it together as I wished to read this book again and maybe e-mail each other about it and we can have a good discussion on the content of the book itself! I am up for the challenge as I do want my opinions challenged :-D

My mail is open if you are interested!

It is completely up to you if you wish to do so or not! (The challenge or otherwise reading the book itself). No pressures!

Though I have to be honest as well, this very well maybe a post-hoc justification as well. I was very young when I first read it and was gifted to me by my cousin. I love the book, it was maybe my first or second extra book that I genuinely read. it's close to my heart for emotional reasons and maybe I am biased out of it as I still carry the book, it has underlinings done of a 6th grade me I think.

I cannot say if the book can help you or not, it has helped me and I have my reasons (which I tried to provide here) to support it. From your experience, you have observed the connection with sycophancy so you have slight distate of the book. I may or may not be able to change the opinion about the book and it's completely okay as I understand where you are coming from :-D

It is one of the only things that I have of that age of mine. I don't know how I used to think back then to be honest. The only thing I have mostly genuinely left out of that is this book and others. It's beautiful and the book feels warm to me and Dale carnegie like an old uncle telling me stories. It feels like I re-meet with him when I read the book and re-meet with my younger self. I maybe using slight hyperbole and I am invoking emotional response to an logical argument and I am slightly sorry about that but I hope that I can convey why the book feels so warm to me!

Now applying the lessons of the book, I wish to speak less and listen more! So I am curious to hear what you think and have an nice day :-D

[0]: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_best-selling_books