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points by pcan77 12 hours ago | 0 comments

do any of you have young kids and dual, heavy stress jobs? DoorDash and Instacart are godsends for families on the go who don't have time to do all this stuff anymore. My wife and I BARELY have time to go grocery shopping and will probably use this service once a month, doordash more than that when we don't have the energy to cook dinner and don't want to wrestle our kid into the car and constantly entertain them at a restaurant.

[–] rcpt 10 hours ago

With 3 kids and both parents working we still never use these things. The few times I tried the food takes a long time and arrives kind of slimy.

The way I see it: customer service sucks real bad now. In San Francisco it sucks incredibly bad. Adding another layer of it is another place for things to get worse.

I completely understand how door dash is useful. But I've been so disappointed that I just don't consider it anymore

[–] oblio 10 hours ago

Do whatever it takes to handle things, but for this:

> My wife and I BARELY have time to go grocery shopping

If you can, take them grocery shopping with you. One parent stays at home doing stuff, the other goes grocery shopping with at least one kid.

In my experience kids at least 12-18 months old LOVE grocery shopping.

Get a big shopping cart, put them in that special seat facing you. Keep it concise, don't shop for more than 1 hour per round. Talk to them, explain what you're doing, give them harmless things to play with (a carrot, a celery bulb, a bag of rice, whatever). Have a little fun with the produce, they will love random things, for example that weird looking tomato.

It becomes even easier as they grow a bit.

[–] s3graham 9 hours ago

My daughter used to love sitting in the cart while perusing the books they sold at Costco. But maybe we didn't buy enough, they don't seem to carry many anymore!

[–] zeroonetwothree 8 hours ago

Works with some kids but not all. All these threads always end up “I’m shocked that someone else has a different life than me!”

[–] oblio 7 hours ago

In my experience routine trumps almost everything. And considering language learning, religion, accents, etc, routine probably trumps everything, period.

I've seen enough parents carting bored kids through supermarkets, while walking sullenly and silently, to know that some people aren't even trying.

[–] sbarre 9 hours ago

But wait, where's the iPad in all this? /s

[–] vorpalhex 12 hours ago

I'm going to give you the most important parenting advice you didn't ask for:

Stop entertaining your kid.

Your kid doesn't need to be entertained. They don't need the tv, a tablet, or a scheduled production put on by their parents.

Let them be entertain themselves. They are great at it.

They will be better behaved, they will be happier and more independent. You will enjoy spending time with your kids again.

Take them out. Let them wait in line. Let them sit at the table a bit. Do slow restaurants that aren't kid friendly.

Let them bring a few small non-electronic toys or a little book, or paper and crayons.

[–] MattGrommes 10 hours ago

First, the only useful parenting advice is Every Kid Is Different. All other parenting advice needs to be evaluated with that lens.

Also, entertaining is not always putting on a show for them or giving them an ipad. Just chatting with three small children sitting around a table while they color can be difficult and you don't always have the energy.

[–] vorpalhex 6 hours ago

There is no kid who benefits from an ipad instead of being allowed to self entertain.

Conversing with your kids is great. Coloring is great.

[–] xXSLAYERXx 10 hours ago

While I agree with what you are saying I'm surprised at how confidently you can say it to someone else who lives, or grew up in, a different environment than you. How do you know theres no mental illness? How do you know if they're trying to shield their kid, via entertainment, from the brutal reality that they might lose their house? Maybe one works nights and one works days?

[–] apsurd 9 hours ago

but then no one can say anything to anyone about anything.

its ok to say what you mean and have it land in different ways for different people.

[–] cwillu 8 hours ago

> but then no one can say anything to anyone about anything

I was going to say that this is an absurd leap, but going off your username I suspect that was the point.

[–] vorpalhex 6 hours ago

What if your kid is a three legged midget in a horse costume? What if he's just a Claude operating a child sized robot body? What if your kid is Benjamin Button and has a crippling addiction to internet porn?

You probably shouldn't still be "entertaining your kid". Your kid can almost certainly still entertain themselves. You are not helping them by shoving an ipad in front of them.

I spent several years as a young kid with a peer who was severely disabled both physically and mentally. This kid was also very happy to entertain himself, especially with shoelaces. He loved untying and tying his shoes. He also deeply loved picture books.

Don't use people with disabilities as an excuse to be lazy.

[–] strulovich 11 hours ago

That’s a horrible advice.

Things that work for your kids don’t necessarily work for all kids.

[–] oblio 10 hours ago

I'd argue that OP is directionally right and:

1. only some specific circumstances for regular kids

2. special needs kids

should warrant exceptions.

[–] vorpalhex 6 hours ago

Parents who use digital pacifiers (ipads, etc) do it because they think it will make their life easier and their child happy.

They are wrong on both counts. You are stealing your kids opportunity to develop an internal world, an attention span and to self stimulate.

And your kid, who is probably fairly smart and good, will always be "difficult" in social situations. You will dread taking them out. A dead ipad will be your doom.

I promise: your kid is smart, great and can self entertain. It's never a problem in the kid, always the parents.

[–] rcpt 10 hours ago

> Stop entertaining your kid.

> Take them out.

[–] apsurd 9 hours ago

synchronous vs asynchronous entertainment.

I took the advice as to remove the stress and pressure of assuming kids need synchronous attention to stay entertained. They sure will want it. resist.