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points by cladopa 1 day ago | 0 comments
Imho when talking about women giving them too much time and attention is a bad idea. They don't value what is free and abundant.

When I was young and poor(but smart, beautiful and tall) I gave some women I was interested on too much time and attention and it looked like they were not interested t all. The women I gave the less attention (that I was not that interested in) usually got deeply in love with me and I had great time with them.

I am European, it is different from living in the US or Asia(I have also lived there). In the US you have way more opportunities professionally but people live isolated from each other. They don't have so many common spaces like in Europe.

Later when I got more money and status the women that ignored me came after me. They only valued my time and attention after it was zero. When I ignored them as I was genuinely busy they got in love as well.

I also made friends around the world easily and probably the best reason is because I already had friends and I did not need new ones.

The best way to make friends and lovers is not to need them at all. You make friends or lover when you don't try to make friends and people just have a great time with you.

So beware about thinking about idealistic ideas about life that have been never tested. There are things about humans that were decided when we were living in tribes.

[–] RugnirViking 1 day ago
I want to offer a counterpoint to the above. I think that for some people in some circumstance it is true, but you can absolutely have fulfilling relationships with people you spend a lot of time and attention on, both friends and romantic partners. I think a lot of people get stuck in the classic avoidant + anxious attachment styles, where people chase what they can't have, but thats not everyone.

I'm not sure how much I actually agree with attachment style theory, but I do observe the pattern parent points out in some people, that they chase people who are distant or unavailable. But its often unhealthy for both people

[–] 233mhz 1 day ago
Talking about women like you're a 14 year old incel is not a good thing fyi
[–] watwut 1 day ago
No, women are not machines where you put time in and affection falls out. And yes, women who have own lives do value ability to keep those lives after having partner. And yes, being clingy or needy (not saying you was but in general) is offputting.

All of these go vice versa too - not many men want women to be constantly by their hip. Too much attention from a woman is offputting to men too.

And still, if you work 60 hours a week and spend weekends coding/working/writing, you will break up, divorce or never find the partner in the first place. Because no woman will miraculously suddenly appear in your bed room. Which is what I was talking about.

[–] kakacik 1 day ago
A sad perspective, maybe rooted in good set of experiences, but it reeks of being sour, closed in injured person who is potentially not so mature emotionally. Good relationships take serious effort to create and sustain, approach of 'I don't need any of this' won't get you far with any decent folks. Maybe you overload the term 'friend' a bit.

I hope being wrong for your sake, but I've met such folks, brilliant in 1 very narrow direction but socials are lacking pretty badly.

Just 1 nitpick - women who care about you suddenly once you have some wealth and/or show off you have are not good partners, not even short term. Its obvious common knowledge yet when looking around its surprisingly often ignored.

Parent's claim are as old as human civilization, we are still just a bit better apes and what he wrote is still valid for 100% of the humans. It doesn't mean 100% will admit it, far from it.

[–] Ar-Curunir 1 day ago
What is this incelspeak